Relationships
I have an old soul. Or at least that's what I'm told. Maybe its because I have a more mature view of things than other people my age or because I can be very old fashioned. I dont know, but either way, whatever the reason I do not have the mentality of the people of my generation...I tell you this so you can understand why I think the way I think, especially when it comes to relationships...
In the last 2 days I have had 2 separate conversations with 2 of my closest friends about 2 different things but both lead to my point. My 1st friend told me a story of how a man was dating a woman for 3 years and it turned out that she used to be a he. Now you might be thinking, Danielle what the hell does that have to do with anything? Where is this heading? Well, 1st let's establish my point. People are jumping into relationships with people they know nothing about and do not attempt to learn anything about them. They do this blind man's dive into the pool of "love" (which 9 times out of 10 is really LUST) only to surface in the water to find a stranger looking at them. How is it possible that this man was with this "woman" for 3 years and didnt know that she used to be a he? He was FUCKING and basically LIVING with this "woman" for THREE years and he didnt know? Where was the research into "her" life? Did he not meet "her" family? "Her" friends? Ask about "her" childhood? I find it very hard to believe that you can be with someone for THREE YEARS and not learn about their life, their past...hell did he not realize that "SHE" NEVER HAD "HER" PERIOD? In the end it all chalks up to stupidity, not caring about anything but the sex and not doing your RESEARCH!
Now, the 2nd conversation I had was with a friend of mines who is dating a young lady he met online. He has yet to meet her in person, but they are a couple [insert fail pic here]. Currently they are having issues. Gee...ya THINK? I have no objections to people meeting online and ultimately becoming a couple. There is absolutely no problem with this. As long as you are smart and realize that the person that is presented online and in those late night cake sessions on the phone may not be what you get when you take the font, computer screen and phone away from the equation and add flesh & bone. You know, meeting face to face? Actually going out on dates? Physically interacting with this person...shit like that. I will not deny that I have in the past (and currently) began to like someone that I correspond with online. But it has never graduated to a full blown relationship. Why? Because it is realized that yes, I like ya font, I like who you present to me but I ultimately do not know you. I dont know if the great "chemistry" we have in our textual convos will translate to great physical chemistry in the real world (and I dont mean sexually either).
My 2nd point of this posting about relationships is what happened to the DATING process? What happened to getting to know a person, enjoying their company and allowing a relationship to GROW? What happened to being friends first and building up to a commitment? I dont understand why this process has died. I rather ENJOY that process of learning new things about this person for whom I like, doing things with them and making them my best friend, lover and other half. It is my belief that a relationship is like a house...in order for a relationship to last there must 1st be a strong foundation which is built during the dating process. After this foundation comes the walls which is built through the communication of the 2 parties and keeps out outside parties who wish to break down this foundation. Next are the floors which represents the growth that all relationships must and will always go through. No relationship will remain on the ground floor. It will evolve, grow and get on different levels as it matures. I honestly feel that people need to get back to this way of thinking and stop rushing into things, having babies and broken homes...I doubt it will happen but an old soul can dream cant it?
In the last 2 days I have had 2 separate conversations with 2 of my closest friends about 2 different things but both lead to my point. My 1st friend told me a story of how a man was dating a woman for 3 years and it turned out that she used to be a he. Now you might be thinking, Danielle what the hell does that have to do with anything? Where is this heading? Well, 1st let's establish my point. People are jumping into relationships with people they know nothing about and do not attempt to learn anything about them. They do this blind man's dive into the pool of "love" (which 9 times out of 10 is really LUST) only to surface in the water to find a stranger looking at them. How is it possible that this man was with this "woman" for 3 years and didnt know that she used to be a he? He was FUCKING and basically LIVING with this "woman" for THREE years and he didnt know? Where was the research into "her" life? Did he not meet "her" family? "Her" friends? Ask about "her" childhood? I find it very hard to believe that you can be with someone for THREE YEARS and not learn about their life, their past...hell did he not realize that "SHE" NEVER HAD "HER" PERIOD? In the end it all chalks up to stupidity, not caring about anything but the sex and not doing your RESEARCH!
Now, the 2nd conversation I had was with a friend of mines who is dating a young lady he met online. He has yet to meet her in person, but they are a couple [insert fail pic here]. Currently they are having issues. Gee...ya THINK? I have no objections to people meeting online and ultimately becoming a couple. There is absolutely no problem with this. As long as you are smart and realize that the person that is presented online and in those late night cake sessions on the phone may not be what you get when you take the font, computer screen and phone away from the equation and add flesh & bone. You know, meeting face to face? Actually going out on dates? Physically interacting with this person...shit like that. I will not deny that I have in the past (and currently) began to like someone that I correspond with online. But it has never graduated to a full blown relationship. Why? Because it is realized that yes, I like ya font, I like who you present to me but I ultimately do not know you. I dont know if the great "chemistry" we have in our textual convos will translate to great physical chemistry in the real world (and I dont mean sexually either).
My 2nd point of this posting about relationships is what happened to the DATING process? What happened to getting to know a person, enjoying their company and allowing a relationship to GROW? What happened to being friends first and building up to a commitment? I dont understand why this process has died. I rather ENJOY that process of learning new things about this person for whom I like, doing things with them and making them my best friend, lover and other half. It is my belief that a relationship is like a house...in order for a relationship to last there must 1st be a strong foundation which is built during the dating process. After this foundation comes the walls which is built through the communication of the 2 parties and keeps out outside parties who wish to break down this foundation. Next are the floors which represents the growth that all relationships must and will always go through. No relationship will remain on the ground floor. It will evolve, grow and get on different levels as it matures. I honestly feel that people need to get back to this way of thinking and stop rushing into things, having babies and broken homes...I doubt it will happen but an old soul can dream cant it?
1 Comments:
nice.............#tht is all this made me wanna start to write again
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