Sabotage!

~Now Playing - Backstabbers by the O'Jays~

 SABOTAGE!

~cue villainous music~

So, it has come to my attention that motherfuckers are starting to try and sabotage people's relationships. Actually no, this has not just been brought to my attention. I've witnessed this many times before but I held my tongue because it was funny to me. But the more I hear about it the more I'm just like, WHY? Why as an adult are you gossiping about who is dating who? Why are you investigating people and snitching on people? Are you that miserable and that LAME that you have to bring others down and make them miserable like you? Relationships that are public online or start online are the types of relationships that I see this happen with most often. My best friend has told me several times that he has had the female that he likes tell him about other MEN telling her about all of his business and asking her questions about my best friend. Really though? I hate saying this but that's just GAY. Why are you concerned with what the next man is doing? Is that the only way you can get a girl? By throwing salt onto the next man's game? Maybe you step YOUR game up and become a better man and stop worrying whats going on in another man's world. Ive also seen females get into their feelings about a guy they like talking to someone else. Just because you like this guy does not mean they are yours. If there is no commitment, he has every right to talk to whomever the fuck he wants to talk to. People really need to just mind their business and let others live their lives...

Appreciation

~Now Playing Teach Me- Musiq Soulchild~

So, I just finished reading my dude eriQ's blogs about appreciation; women deserving and receiving it and men needing to learn how to give it. And I must say that they got me thinking. First of all, I absolutely agree with eriQ with regards to women not automatically deserving appreciation. Just because you are a female does not mean you deserve or will get appreciation from your significant other. Its about what you do to be appreciated. If you do nothing you get absolutely NOTHING. Just putting up with his bullshit and opening your legs does not mean you deserve his admiration, love, respect or appreciation. Do you uplift ya man mentally, emotionally and spiritually? Are you available to him when he needs a listening ear, a pair of arms to wrap around him when he's feeling down and lonely. Are you the Bonnie to his Clyde? That ride or die chick that's there by his side when the times are good and when the times are bad...the woman who not only follows his master plans but adds to them and makes them better. Are you open to receive ya man's love? If you aren't doing all of this and so much more you do not deserve anything from your man. Relationships are about give and take, effort must be done by both parties in order to make it succeed. Now, on to men learning how to appreciate their woman. eriQ spoke on what men need to do in order to show their appreciation for their woman: "The BEST way to show appreciation to your WOMAN is, well...JUST BE THERE! Where? THERE! Whenever she's sad/mad/lonely/etc" can you say...Truth.com? YES! The best way to show that you care and that you appreciate what your woman does is to BE THERE for that woman! (Notice I said that WOMAN, not female, chick, bitch, jumpoff, wifey, none of that shit...WOMAN!!!!!!There is a HUGE difference and I may explain it in another blog) A woman may claim she needs the world plus a few of the other planets in order to be happy but in reality all she needs is YOU. YOU ARE HER WORLD. She needs you to rub her back, listen to her and actually HEAR what she's saying, converse with her even if its about the silliest, most mundane (to you) thing. She needs effort from you, even if its the smallest thing like  doing the dishes after she cooked for you, buying her a rose randomly...be romantic! Its not that hard really, you just have to pay attention and try. Stop worrying about being seen as soft or gay to other people, especially ya boys. I mean really why do you care what THEY think? They aren't the ones who will be sucking ya dick and fucking you to thank you for your efforts. So tell em to fuck off and pamper ya woman...look her in the eye and tell her you care, compliment her every once in a while, be spontaneous and take her out. DO SOMETHING! That is all ^_^

Confessions of a Demented Soul

Please be advised that many of my poems were written when I was going through a very dark time in my life...they express the pain, despair and uncertainty I felt and sometimes continue to feel...and some of them are just poems that my crazy mind thought of lol so dont take all of em literal. K? Thanks...

I have a confession/My bestfriend is DEPRESSION/But why try to explain?/Yall dont see that I'm INSANE/Claiming that you understand/Everything will be fine/But these pains are all MINE/You cant hold my hand/And make everything all right/I'm a tortured soul/that dies every night/My heart so COLD/Broken by so many before/It's hard to ignore/the pain I hide in my eyes/My laughter solidies my lies/When I say yeah I'm OKAY/Shit what am I supposed to say?/I feel like SHIT/Is this really it?/ Or is there more to come?/ What the FUCK happened to life being FUN?/ PAIN and DESPAIR.../you act like you truly CARE/ that I'm DEAD inside/ that i really just wanna HIDE/TRAPPED in a dark place/Lord dont let them see my face/my ANGUISH and tears/Please hide these damn FEARS/Take me away/before I do it on my OWN/I am all ALONE/ yet surrounded by so many who CLAIM to care/But I cant feel it/ Dont see it/ DROWNING in my sorrow/ I dont pray for tomorrow/True my pain cant compare/To those hurting more/ But this comes from the CORE/It's ROTTEN and DEAD/But yall dont hear what I said,/my words LOST in meaning/by the niggas who are feening/the bitches who are HATING/no, yall dont see me fading/away into NOTHING but dust/YES I AM NUTS/but you cant see it can you?/dont understand what I do/saying DANIELLE is okay/dont LISTEN to the FUNNY things she say/but i have a CONFESSION/my best friend is DEPRESSION/I LAUGH at you TRYING to understand/LET GO OF MY FUCKING HAND/and allow me to fall/ DEEP into my ABYSS/In this picture there's something WRONG/ it was there all along/ something you MISSED/please OPEN YOUR EYES/and REALIZE I'm not really there/PLEASE DONT ACT like you care/I was NEVER really here/ABANDONED and pushed to the edge/I'm FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD/and I wish I was DEAD...TO BE CONTINUED!!!!

Sin

Forgive me for I have sinned
The lies that were told
And deception that was shown
Broke the heart
Of the one I loved
Forgive me
For I have sinned
I don’t even know where to begin
I say sorry to you
Since you deserved better
I destroyed your dream
Because I wasn’t what I seemed
I apologize
For not wanting to realize
The pain I put you through
Now it’s too late
A bullet was my fate
I walk through heaven’s gate
Having to say goodbye to you
The only true love I ever knew
Forgive me
For I have sinned
By not listening
To all you told
For being so bold
It hurts my soul
Cause I know what I’m missing
Never to be with you again
That is the true sin

Poetic Liez

Poetry in Motion
His sexy lips spoke words of devotion
But his chocolate brown eyes told the deception of his soul
Hands that provide a caressing touch
Body vibrating with great lust
In his mind replays our last night
Smirking at the memory
As I groaned "Yeah papi hit it right"
Folding my body with perfect symmetry
Positions continuously changed
On top and below, pick up my leg,
Body shakin as if I'm insane
Ignoring me as I continuously beg
"Papi, no I cant take no more."
Flip me over and hold me down
Yes, I know whats in store
As ya gyrations go round and round
Hips dipping low and deep
that sensational tingling begins at the toes and starts to creep
"Sí amo como siente...i love how it feels"
Grabbing my hair
Pushing till you touch that spot
voice coming out in a hiss
"I'm almost there"
One soul sucking kiss
one final thrust
listen to me as I scream and cuss
tears roll down my face
as desperate fingers grip the sheet
So good that I lie in place
So good that I almost forget that you cheat


Body movement is poetry in motion
Lips release words of devotion
Eyes that reveal the sad truth
that I never shoulda trusted you
Blinded by the Big "O"
That I always received
I never saw that I was being deceived


Poetic liez
Are what brings tears to these eyes
Poetic liez
Are what makes me ask why
Poetic liez
that keeps me on my back
and mind off track
Never being able to stay true to my goodbye
Poetic liez is what I actually yearn to hear
Because they feed into my delusion
that we have a sacred union
untarnished by your adultery
Yes, yes tell them to me
Let me hear your poetic liez
Ignore the tears that comes to my eyes
Whisper them into my ear
Though I know you are not what you appear
No, you have never been sincere
But you tell me what I want to hear
Feed into my sad fairy tale
Cause I only want that happy ending
Forget the mixed messages that you seem to be sending
Since we're both just pretending
No you are not my Knight in shining armor
Just a typical male
A serpents charmer
Make me forget your poetic liez
With each deep stroke
Make me forget the pain that they evoke
As I claw at your back
They drift away with satisfied sighs
I forget the sincerity that you lack
The promises that were broken
The false "I love you"'s spoken
All to keep me in your bed
and fucks with my head
But all is forgotten because of those liez

Who Am I...

I honestly think that my mother naming me Danielle Smith was the best decision she ever made for me. I personally feel that because she gave me this generic name I am the unique character that I am today. That among many other things. As a child I strived to appear "normal" and to fit in with the crowds that I was around and became quite good at assimilating and blending in with groups. I became a chameleon of sorts. This act or show that I put on is what gave me the many layers to my personality that I have today. Because I tried to blend in and hung with different groups I opened myself to many different worlds and learned different things. But this also lead to me having an identity crisis. I didnt know who I was, I didnt know if what I liked was solely because I liked it and not because I was around other people who liked it. I had goals that were given to me, implanted into my head and was told that this is what I should do with my life. It took a huge, life shattering shake up for me to finally snap out of it and realize that I needed to change. I needed to wipe my slate clean and be the Danielle I want to be. And I must admit, finding myself is quite fun. I'm trying new things and I dont give a fuck who likes what I'm doing or why I'm doing it. I'm making Danielle happy FINALLY. My goals are set in my mind and I'm slowly but surely moving along on my newfound path, discovering new and thrilling things along the way. Like the Phoenix tattooed onto my back I'm rising from the ashes that were of my old self and rising new and stronger. 

A Plain Beauty

A plain beauty/with dark chocolate eyes/when the light hits them just right/you can see the secret she holds inside/she can seduce you with her sincerity/her carefully spoken words give you clarity/the shoulder you rely on/unbeknowst to you its all a con/winning over your heart/she's deceving you from the start/a plain beauty...a simple cutie/is the one you should look out for/she'll touch you deep within your core/makin you want more/soon she's the one that you've come to adore/a devil with the best disguise/simplicity is boring in most eyes/but for her? it works just fine/watch your back/cause soon she'll attack/and your mind will be off track/she'll discard you like the mornings trash/her fascination'll never last/and you'll be left with a broken heart/feelin as though ya soul has been torn apart

A Poetic Mind

A poetic mind is one that is free/smile down upon me/as I go through
this journey/bless me with your rays of love surround me/with it send me
into bliss/with your honeysuckle kiss/bless me with the vision to see
from within/show me where to begin/help release me from every sin/make
me forget all the times when/I went against what I was told/forget that
my soul was sold/help me regain my life/take away the pain caused by
this knife/lunged in my heart dripping with the devil's serum/I admit I
once was a whore in his herum/but now I am free/a poetic mind is what I
yearn to be/my soul won back in a slavery auction/but I take it back
with much precaution/will it betray the owner that let it go?/will the
scars of my abandonment show?/or will it finally glow?/soar beyond the
heavens/appear to be benevolent/hold the knowledge I need/to finally be
all that I was destined to be/achieve what I always knew I could
achieve/live out that dream I once dreamnt/allow my life to be full of
content/and much happiness/I say yes/yes my soul shall be the key/the
key to have a poetic mind/a mind that is free/a mind that is blessed by
the divine/a mind that will allow me to shine/yes I know now that
everything will be fine/I now have a poetic mind

Happiness Begin

Drowning in my own damn sorrows/why does every poem seem like there is no tomorrow?/so tired of being used/so done wit being confused/emerging from the ashes of my fucked up existence/I keep goin at it wit a savage's persistence/yet my goal is not met/the struggle aint over yet/
Seemingly nobody gives a fuck what happens to the girl surrounded by those dark clouds/smile at her pretty face, ignore the frustrated sounds/that emit from her thick pink lips/her words coming out as sighs and a hiss/
I try and fight with a small tight fist/I refuse to let my life just be like this/depression as a best friend/praying for an end/used as a man's toy/every encounter with a so called man who is really a boy/false hopes leading to a torn soul/no I refuse to let my heart become ice cold/never thumping to a rhythmic beat/refuse to let one more tear slide down this chubby cheek/purging myself from all that brings me down/no longer will I be the fuckin clown/or shall I walk around with a frown/no my head shall be held high with a crown/of satisfaction...determination...success/and most importantly happiness/I cry out YES! YES!/as I make my journey to the heavens where I will shine like a diamond in the sky/the sorrow and pain no longer in my chocolate brown eyes/staring down at all those who doubted my ability/and those who hated on me/who tried to drag me down into the depths of hell/yessssss can you hear my yell?/my shouts shall make the earth quiver/my tears once flowed like a river/now tear ducts are dried up like a man in the Sahara desert/No, I will not be hurt/this will be the end/the end of all struggle and here I shall transcend/into a feeling of bliss/I can now look at you and say Fuck you...I don't need this/cause this is the end/so shit...let the happiness begin!

John Doe

"Shit, we gotta stop"
(But his body's so damn hot)
"What if we get caught?"
(Mmmm why are his lips so soft?)
"Damn I gotta get outta here"
(Yeah baby pull my hair...touch me right there)
"No, what about my man?"
(Shit, he can probably do it better than that nigga can)
He looks me deep in my eyes
"If you tell me to stop, I will"
I reach down for more than just a feel
A smirk comes across his strong chiseled face
As he slides his key right into place
Unlocking the passion I had lacked
Moaning I arch my back
All I can say is "Damn, damn, DAMN!"
(what about my man?)
"Yeah Daddy just like that"
(He's always callin me fat)
"MMMM shit hit it harder"
(Tellin me I should be smarter)
"Yes, yes! Thats it!"
(That nigga never licked ma clit)
"Yeah baby you hittin it just right"
(He's always out fuckin different bitches every night...)

John Doe fucks me right
John Doe makes me feel higher than a kite
He does what the fuck my man wont do
Hell John Doe might even be you
My man's out every night creepin
Comin in the house thinkin I'm sleepin
Little does he know
I was just fucked by John Doe
Had me up in the shower
Buried his nose in my flower
Screams gettin louder and louder
Yeah John Doe is the nigga that sneaks up on you
Makin you notice the shit ya man dont do
Slips you the mandingo dick
and hell thats it!
When ya man finally notice
You tell him its too late to focus
Yeah John Doe'll do what ya man wont do
Shit is John Doe you?

My Love Letter

~Now Playing "Love" Musiq Soulchild ~

Dear Love:

You and I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting, so allow me to introduce myself. My name is Broken Hearted. You would think that in almost 24 years that you and I would have crossed paths at least once, even if only for a minute but alas you continue to evade me and play cat and mouse games with my life. Every time you and I potentially have a date to meet you leave me empty, alone and hurting. Remember when we were supposed to meet when I was 19? You stood me up and left me out to dry, never being able to experience the great feeling that is you. Oh and then there was that time recently. You and I had a date with destiny but instead you sent your dark twin hate and he filled me up to the brim with his being. He still swims in my soul on a daily basis. Swan diving in and out of my heart, dirtying it up and making it dark, unfeeling and cold. His poison invading my veins and turning me into one of his bitter, spiteful minions. But don't worry, I still have a small piece left that I am saving just for you. I'm just wondering as to when you will come and claim it. I would like to feel that warmth that is you, get to know you and bask in your glow. Judging from your resume throughout the years your power has caused wars, united people and created eternal soul linking connections. I want to witness such greatness once in my life. Your references speak very highly of you, though they warn me of the pain that you may also bring into my life. But I know that it will be worth it in the end to experience that pure feeling called LOVE. To be LOVED by another who is my family my friend my lover, and my other half. LOVED unconditionally, because and despite of my faults. LOVE that brings with it knowledge of worldly things. LOVE that will last in the universe even after our bodies are returned to the earth. LOVE that can only have been a gift from GOD and lift you to the heavens. LOVE that feels as if you are being kissed by the lord himself every time you look upon the face of your beloved. LOVE that embraces me like a mother does her child and nourishes me while I flourish under its glow like a rose in the sun. Yes, I would like to experience this in my lifetime. I dont know if you are saving me for a special occasion but I will continue to wait patiently for our date. I will watch as time flies by and fight off your twin as much as possible for he is hungry for that last bit of heart that I have saved for you. But I dont know how long I can last.

Sincerely

B. Hearted